Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize