Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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