Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Is it penis luge time yet?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize