I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize