i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
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thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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