What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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