After last night, I could never be a politician.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize