I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
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