I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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