I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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