I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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