His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize