he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize