I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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