The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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