oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize