I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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