Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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