Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Say something about gay babies.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize