I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize