I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
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After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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