I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
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