Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
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