Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize