I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
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She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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