ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
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