im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
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I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
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I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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