Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
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I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
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Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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