Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
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