I'm gonna have a badass scar
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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