Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
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boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
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It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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