Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
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All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
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So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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