I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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