One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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