we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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