youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
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How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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