I think I am morally bankrupt
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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