Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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