This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
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I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I have feelings that need drinking.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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