omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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