Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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