I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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