I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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