***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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