She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Randomize