I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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