Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
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I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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