If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the barista slut.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize