i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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