there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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