this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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