Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Just high enough for therapy.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize