girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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